Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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