I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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