I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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