Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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