3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
FUCK WHALES
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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