I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
