i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
