I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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