girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
