sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
