She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
