I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize