I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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