Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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