omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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