a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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