peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
