I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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