don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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