I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
