youre lurking in front of me
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
