oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize