kristin has been a bad kristin
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
