There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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