I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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