my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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