So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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