I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
