apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize