new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
