she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
