i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize