Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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