her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
