Where did you get a picture of my penis
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
