You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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