I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize