I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
