p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
