I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
