I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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