Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
