Quick, to the slutcave!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
