He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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