I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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