That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
