Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
