Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
