do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she looked like the before picture.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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