How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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