I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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