Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize