I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize