Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize