Sponge bath it is.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
