a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
