at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
