Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
