You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
