We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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