Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
