I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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