Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
